hugefan's blog

.... except no one here wants to wrestle. You would think it's a niche hobby or something.

Ok, so I have managed to drag someone up from Essex to meet in Ipswich (which was lovely) but really there must be some guys in Norfolk or Suffolk who don't just want to wrestle on the pig farms (don't say they wouldn't be able to tell the difference wrestling me)

I suppose I have come to realise how lucky I was living in London, it seems like apart from Manchester and London there is just a sea of notmeetfighters. Of course London also has the added bonus of those lovely travellers waiting to be lassoed at the airports and dragged back to my evil lair.

So apart from the lack of Wrestling I thought I might share my thoughts on the positives and negatives of small town Lowestoft -

Good points

1/ lovely beach
2/ surprisingly high quality totty, I say surprisingly only because i thought central London had the highest percentage of hotness in the world but downtown lowestoft has quite a nice beef selection as well as some pork.
3/ You don't need to get on the tube
4/ You go into shops and the items are on the shelves, neatly on the shelves rather than on the floor
5/ a lot of people smile and sometimes they just strike up a conversation. Now this does happen sometimes in London but generally if they smile you think they are out of their head on something and if they speak you think they are going to mug you or have missed one too many appointment at the psychiatric unit
6/ people are generally shorter. This is a plus point for me because I don't have any predjudice against short but perfectly formed and I like to feel like a giant
7/ you can wander around at odd times of the day or night, explore back streets and not worry that you might run into a smiling mugger (see 5) Obviously nowhere is crime free but the most dangerous thing here appears to be that they switch off the street lights at midnight. Finding your way home in the dark can be an adventure.
8/ Because of it's, how shall we put this politely, remoteness, no one ever seems to tell shop owners that their chain has been shut down. When was the last time you saw a Wimpey bar? I am sure if I look hard enough I will find a Woolworths.
9/ Things are generally cheaper
10/ There is a chip shop on nearly every corner and they are good chips.

Bad points

1/ There are chip shops on nearly every corner (I am not smoking but I am on 100 chips a day)
2/The pigeons are huge and make this terrible screechy noise and try to steal your chips (who said seagulls?)
3/ Everything shuts at 530 and I mean nearly everything. The eight oclock Tescos is the nearest to an all night shop in town.
4/ It is all a bit white. I am so used to Tottenham that I nearly had an orgasm over the hot black assistant in JD sports. Thankfully I managed to contain myself and instead had a long conversation about football which anyone will tell you is similar to the Pope discussing gay sex (i.e, not easy or for him natural)
5/ People talk to me. This can be a good point as item 5 above but for a London hermit it is a bit of a culture shock. Thank goodness for self service check outs.

So good outweighs bad by 10 to 5, I would say that is a good margin.

So why you may ask am I writing all this waffle about something that has nothing to do with wrestling. Simples - there is no one here to wrestle! So get on your bikes and out of your farm yards and meet me for a wrestle or I will be forced to make you suffer more waffle blogs.

You have been warned!