canwrestle's blog

As I edit a video I filmed for my Watchfighters page, (shameless plug: https://www.watchfighters.com/channels/canwrestle) I am contemplating what made this particular meet "ALMOST" perfect.

This is subjective of course, there are lots of opinions on what perfect is, and by no means do I think my preferred style is the only valid one. Nor do I want to give the impression that I haven’t experienced really awesome meet ups apart from this one. However, having read OsakaRob’s interesting post about your “wrestling quotient”, where he suggests one metric for our own desirability as a wrestler is the ability to fully explain what we are looking for in a match, what that means to me, and whether I can do that, has been on my mind. When I think about it, this one comes pretty damn close as an example of what was perfect for me... almost.

This match took place in my hotel with the incredible Bobby Ben Carter the first night of Wrestlefest Canada this past July. Although it was the first time Bobby and I were meeting in person, we had been chatting for months leading up to the event, and had built a pretty good friendship. This meant that when he came to my room we were already comfortable with each other. There wasn’t any awkwardness, our personalities meshed and the relationship we’d created on line was well established before we put the gear on.

We’d also talked about our likes and what we enjoyed extensively and so were comfortable with what was going to happen. Of course there is that fear that we will be disappointing in person. That we won’t live up to the persona created by sharing pics and messages, however, this didn't last long and we were quickly relaxed and easy with each other. Bobby exceeded my expectations and I got the feeling I met his.

The wrestling started and the only thing we planned was that we would wear matching singlets – for the shits and giggles. Right from the lock up we were in synch. We are very similar in height and weight and pretty close in strength (although he might have me there, but I think I got him in experience). I can enjoy the mismatch of wrestling with a larger or smaller opponent, but for me there is something special when the two combatants are equals. This was the case and the chemistry we shared in personality transferred to the physical.

Style is a tricky thing, especially when you add the video component. I pride myself on being flexible in this area, moving easily from pro to real submission and even freestyle depending on my opponent. Bobby and I had talked about a real wrestling match, but we also discussed that if you are making a video, that to keep things interesting, you need to qualify that realness with some flow. One guy in mount moving at a snail’s pace to secure a submission, while the guy on bottom moves equally slowly to reverse, does not make for an interesting video. You have to be able to give a little, allow a sequence to play out, and control your intensity so you’re not making your opponent tap within seconds. This is a hard skill to master. It helps if you have training, or experience at least. You have to walk a fine line and not everyone can or is willing to do this. Within the first few minutes of wrestling I knew Bobby had a good mastery of this skill. The fight would be real, but safe and controlled. I’d be sore and sweaty after we were done, but not injured, and we’d have a good video to share as a bonus. I also didn’t know if I would win or lose. It was going to be close and that gets my juices flowing.

Wrestling is inherently erotic for me. I get off on it, that’s why I’m here. If I want sport I can go to my BJJ club and wrestle all the straight boys I want. What I hope when meeting someone from here is that there will be an attraction and the wrestling will include an erotic component. It doesn’t always happen, and that’s okay too, also what constitutes erotic can change depending on the person and the situation. Maybe the match will end in a mutual jerk, maybe there will be nudity, oral or sometimes even more. All can be satisfying and I can usually find pleasure in whatever happens. However, what it really means is, I like when the aggression is mixed with moments of passion, when there is kissing, body worship or more.

In this match the first kiss happened after about ten minutes of straight wrestling. I can’t remember which of us initiated it, but I know it happened spontaneously, coming out of the wrestling, pausing it for a moment, but by no means stopping it. I believe Bobby followed up the making out by trying to choke me out with a guillotine. As the match progressed, the frequency of these moments and the intensity of them built. For me this is exactly how I want the eroticism to happen - a natural extension of the fight. I’m not talking about dominance either, although that can be fun if it’s your thing. I’m talking about the struggle, the bond, the challenge and ultimately what it leads to. It’s not something that happens often, but when it does, it’s absolutely perfect in my opinion.

The title of the blog is "ALMOST" perfect, and there was unfortunately one thing that I would have changed if I could. Both Bobby and I had somewhere to be so unfortunately we had to end the match after the third submission. I could have gone many more rounds with this incredible guy and I believe so could he. Also, because of our prior commitments, the singlets did not come all the way off, something that, if we’d had the time, would definitely have happened next. The bright spot however is that we are both ready for a rematch and are now fully aware that we should plan to go all night the next time.

Not every meet is going to be perfect, and it doesn’t mean that the ones that aren’t suck. I can honestly say that most of my matches have been good ones in one aspect or another, but every so often we get lucky, all the stars align and all the elements are present to create the "ALMOST" perfect match.