IronbearJones's blog

I find myself getting increasingly frustrated.

Not about anything site-related. I've hit that inevitable point in my actual gym stuff where, physically, I'm starting to see a sharp incline between where I am and where I feel like I should be. My form isn't terrible but my leg strength and balance is horrible. I know what the problem is. After having it pointed out to me, I can SEE the problem every time. And thinking about it constantly only makes me more and more irritated.

I didn't realize there was such a huge difference in glove weight. Last week, I was pretty much keeping pace, or so I thought, with my instructor. I didn't realize it until this week that he regularly uses 16 oz. gloves, whereas I was using just my handwraps at the time. The difference is subtle, but man did I notice. And it started to go a bit downhill from there.

Came to a head in a sparring match last night; my mind and my body just don't move at the same speed and I had to stop. Not because I was hurt, but because I was PISSED. Not at my sparring partner (who I normally enjoy sparring with) but with myself. My instructor likes to say "it doesn't get any easier; you only get better". Part of me is just pining for a shorctut. Some way to turn the clock back on my lower body strength by about 20 years.

Certainly doesn't mean I'm quitting though. But this is generally how things go when I start thinking a lot; the tendency to withdraw inward is pretty strong (so if anyone's actually been looking for me for the past few days, that's why). Bought a speed rope today, and even though I look and feel incredibly awkward doing it, I'm going to continue putting in the work. I have to.

Of course, this means very little with regards to wrestling/BJJ. I'm still terrible at it, and that's a core strength issue more than anything else. If I try to work on everything I lack all at once, I KNOW I'll burn out. Patience and all that.